What do we need to let go of?

The image of our hands has become a metaphor for what we can handle. Our hands hold full plates or broken pieces. Our hands are free or white knuckling. Our hands are tied. Our hands are holding on. Our hands are letting go.

I recently read about a creative arts activity that I tried myself and used with some clients. The purpose is to become aware of all that we carry. You trace each hand and in one hand you write what you are holding on to. In the other you write what you are letting go of. (Details instructions  for the activity are below.) The exercise helps you gain some personal flexibility. People who can evaluate themselves and be willing to change (let go) are healthier human beings. ”Kashdan and Rotterburg (2010) define psychological flexibility as the measure of how a person: 

• adapts to fluctuating situational demands
• reconfigures mental resources
• shifts perspective
• balances competing desires, needs, and life domains 

Hands Activity

What you need:

• Construction paper

• Markers and pencils

• Process with a friend

You start by tracing each of your hands. In one of the hands you write down everything you want to hold on to, on the other you write down everything you want to let go of. To take this exercise a step further, you might come up with a way to let go of those things in that hand. Some ideas:

• If you have a spiritual life: let it go through prayer

• Speak with a therapist about how to “declutter” your emotional closet

• Let go symbolically by writing them on pieces of paper and burning them or throwing them out

There are all kinds of ways to take moment and put a stake in the ground as if to say, I’m letting go of what I can’t control, my flaws, and my unrealistic expectations.