How Do We Put the Joy Back in the Holidays?

How do we put the joy back in the holidays? We all have wonderful visions of how the holiday will be for us personally, but then that certain family member shows up and it triggers an emotional reaction. Before we know it all those beautiful plans go out the window! Maybe this holiday could be different. Maybe we can learn to plan, to RESPOND, rather than react. 

TOP 4 TIPS for how to put a little joy back in the holidays:

1. Decide 1 or 2 goals for the holiday: Set goals that line up with your values and that bring you pleasure. This is not about buying or doing, this is about being. What experience would you like to have during this holiday?
2. Communicate Boundaries: Communicate your goals and your limits with your partner, kids, and extended family (when possible). Tell people what you are and are not willing to do, using “I” statements. It’s not about them, it’s about you. “I would love to see the Christmas lights with you all but after that (Partner) and I are going to take some time alone.” When possible (and helpful) communicate how someone else’s behavior affects you- “When you come in late the food gets cold” “
3. Remember to find moments for being present. Take a minute to check in with yourself, your spouse, and each of your kids. Find some quiet to listen to your body and your emotions. An emotional churning is always happening before an outburst- for you and for your kids. Is your heart racing, are you tired, stressed, excited, grateful, etc.? Those present moments are where you find real joy. We experience all of those extraordinary emotions in the present!
4. Be kind to yourself. Leave guilt and excessive expectations out in the cold. 

Morgan Myers, LPC-intern is an LPC-intern in our practice. She works with children, adolescents, and adults. She was trained in play therapy and uses play therapy to help little ones and walks with parents through strategies to help kids flourish. Click here to send her an email.